jellanne

Finding the courage

In Uncategorized on July 12, 2009 at 5:49 pm

I must admit something.

I secretly want to be heard…and I’m not exactly sure why? My best friend has encouraged me to set up a blog to share some of the stories that I tell her about my life, my work with children who have special needs, and the insights and things that I am constantly learning each day about myself and the world around me.

But honestly, I am quite scared about it all.

I’m scared that I might say the wrong thing. I’m scared that I might offend someone. I’m scared that I might get some hate mail or horrible comments. I’m scared that I’m not IT literate enough. But most of all I’m scared that I don’t have the right amount of confidence and self belief to pull it all off and do justice to the people and situations I want to help and talk about.
At times the world frustrates me. At times in liberates me. At times i want to scream at the top of my lungs ‘WHY?’ and at times I just want to smile and enjoy the moment for what it is.
I want to share my frustrations and things I see with other like minded people, but at the same time I don’t want to be seen as a ‘trouble maker’ or ‘moaner’. I guess I want to be seen as a ‘liberator’ for both myself and perhaps those that I see around me in the streets who are not as lucky as I am to be able to have a voice, to be able to communicate as articulately as I can, who do not grasp english as well as a native speaker and are therefore not heard by the mainstream internet community.

So I have decided to finally face my fears, to put myself out there into the big wide web and see where it takes me with put no emphasis on the outcome.

 The title ‘The Humble Warrior’ came to me in a dream last night so I have chosen to use it here. I looked up the definition of ‘warrior’ on wikipedia and it says “a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness, as in politics or athletics” (although I’m certainly not planning to run for office nor the olympics!)…

 and ‘humble’ meaning “not proud or  arrogant, but modest“…so I think it fits with what I’m trying to be a ‘modestly courageous being’. So I guess I just have to embrace the moment and see where this humble warrior spirit will take me as I write this, my first ever blog.

Fingers crossed and wish me luck xx

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